Why Your Circle Shapes Your Success
There’s a saying that goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Whether you’ve heard it once or a hundred times, it still rings true. The people in your life—your friends, colleagues, mentors, family, even your online connections—have a powerful influence on your mindset, your choices, and ultimately, your future.
But let’s break this down. Why does it matter so much who you hang around? And how do you know if your circle is helping or hurting your growth?
Let’s dive in.
Energy Is Contagious—So Choose Wisely
Ever left a conversation feeling completely drained? Or walked away from someone feeling lighter, more inspired, maybe even unstoppable?
That’s no coincidence.
Science backs it up: emotions are contagious. According to research from the Harvard Medical School and the University of California, San Diego, emotions like happiness—or negativity—can ripple through social networks like a virus. That means being around optimistic, driven people increases your own sense of well-being and motivation. On the flip side, spending too much time with chronic complainers or toxic personalities can pull you down—even if you’re normally upbeat.
The people around you act like emotional thermostats. They either raise your temperature or bring it down. Surrounding yourself with people who energize you, challenge you, and believe in your potential is essential fuel for your growth.
Your Circle Is Either Feeding or Starving Your Dreams
Here’s something to chew on: your goals might not be too big. You just might be sharing them with people who think too small.
Think about that.
If you’re trying to run a marathon, build a business, heal from trauma, or level up in any area of your life, but you’re spending time with people who aren’t aiming for anything—people who mock ambition or scoff at the idea of self-growth—you’re going to feel like a misfit in your own dreams.
But when you’re around people who are also striving, learning, and growing, your goals feel more possible. Not because they’re suddenly easier, but because now you’re surrounded by proof that growth is real. That effort pays off. That you’re not alone in the climb.
Your Circle Becomes Your Standard
This part is huge: the people around you set the standard for what you accept as “normal.”
If everyone around you tolerates drama, excuses, mediocrity, or playing it safe, that becomes the baseline. But if you’re around people who consistently show up, take accountability, set boundaries, and stretch themselves—you’ll start to hold yourself to a higher standard too.
It’s not about comparing yourself. It’s about calibrating yourself. Being around high-vibe, growth-minded people doesn’t make you feel “less than”—it wakes you up to what’s possible.
How to Audit Your Circle (With Love)
You don’t have to cut people off to grow—you just have to get intentional about the energy you keep close. Here’s a simple way to check the health of your circle:
- Do they inspire you to grow or make you feel stuck?
- Do they support your boundaries or constantly cross them?
- Do you feel like your best self after time together—or do you have to recover afterward?
- Do they hold you accountable, or enable your excuses?
This doesn’t mean your circle has to be full of perfect, polished people. It just means they’re willing. Willing to grow. Willing to listen. Willing to be real.
If the answer is “no” to most of the questions above, it might be time to expand your circle—or at least, shift how much energy you’re investing.
Upgrade Your Circle, Upgrade Your Life
The beauty of today’s world is that you can expand your circle without even leaving your house. Podcasts, online communities, masterminds, audiobooks—these are all ways to surround yourself with better energy, better ideas, and better habits.
Want to start surrounding yourself with more empowering influences? This TED article shares more science-backed insights on how the people around us affect our personal development and how to build a healthier social network.
Here are a few reminders to fuel your filter:
“Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.” – Dan Pena
“Surround yourself with only people who are going to lift you higher.” – Oprah Winfrey
“If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck. If you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.” – Steve Maraboli
Be the Energy You Want to Attract
Yes, your circle matters—but so do you. If you want to attract motivated, confident, honest, and courageous people, start by being that person. Growth doesn’t just happen to you—it happens through you.
And as you grow, your circle will start to reflect that change. Some people will drift. New people will come. And you’ll begin to realize that who you allow in your space is one of the most powerful choices you can make.
So choose wisely.
You’re not just protecting your peace—you’re building your future.
Start by joining online groups aligned with your goals, listening to empowering podcasts, or even curating your social media feed to reflect the kind of energy you want more of
Let the people in your life be your wings, not your weights.
Time to GO BE GREAT!
